Is it a Job, a Career, or a Calling?

Have you ever heard the saying that friendships come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime? It’s one of those phrases that sticks because it’s so true – sometimes painfully so. We think someone is a “lifetime” person, only to realize they were really meant to help us through a chapter, or to teach us something we needed to learn. And when our expectations don’t match their role in our lives, it can be confusing, disappointing – even heart breaking. We try to hold on, fix it, or force it. But no matter how hard we try, it’s like shoving a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn’t fit.

I believe the same thing happens at work. It could be considered “a job, a career, or a calling”. 

The place in where you receive a paycheck might be “a job”. You go in, do your work and head home.

Maybe it’s “a career”. You have opportunities for growth and have been able to use your skills and experience to showcase you. You may even describe your title/role when someone asks you to tell you “a little about yourself”: “my name is Lucinda and I’m a ____”.

Maybe you are one of the lucky ones that feel your work isn’t JUST work. It is what you have been called to do, as it is deeply in alignment with your values. Maybe it pays well, maybe it doesn’t, but maybe it doesn’t matter because you are doing the thing that in your heart of hearts just FEELS like the right thing and is truly living your values out loud.

It’s your “calling”.

No matter the stage of our working life, we may experience any or all of these areas. There is no one that is better than another, but they are different. They feel different, they require (and give) different energy from us. Just different.

The issue isn’t with which one you may be in, but the issue lies in the desire to be in one of those zones and have expectations that are in a different zone. For example, you have “a job” but you expect it to be fulfilling in so many areas for you. You expect it to give you growth, or energize you by doing it, but when the reality doesn’t match… it’s defeating.

This is where disempowerment seeps in.

Or, the once fulfilling career that satisfied you has run it’s course, or burned you out and resentment and disengagement grows by the day. Just showing up in a way the resembles the old you – you know, the one that used to be so willing and excited – well, she shows up now burning more energy just to muster up the ability to climb out of bed and into the office than you did when you were working late into the night on the next great thing you had on your project list.

No matter the title or industry, so many are struggling. Struggling when they have expectations and spent energy that is channeled into a place that they are not at. They are seeking the “calling” feeling in a job, company or work that is not aligned with that. Or they are trying to force a “job” into a “career” in a place that doesn’t even offer the career they are even looking for.

It’s like pushing a boulder uphill like Sisyphus and is defeating in all the ways! But when asking what they are pushing for and what they are pushing against, it is not always clear.  

I work with clients to discover not just the “pro’s VS con’s” of where they are. They already know THAT! But instead, we shift to what they “want VS don’t want”.

Sound easy?

If you could pencil a list that described what you want right now in your job/career/calling, could you?

 I don’t mean just the title or salary, but things like: “environment, location, vibe, types of people, strategy work, detail oriented”. Don’t get hung up on what comes to mind at first. Your initial list should be long and probably contain somethings that may look ridiculous “I want a blue office”, but that can be teased out later if it is not a deal breaker. Eventually we make sure it contains values that are precious to you.

We then comb through the “don’t want” list: long commute, wearing a uniform, direct reports, “that” industry etc. Yes, this one could also initially contain things like “I don’t want to pay taxes” (I mean who WANTS to do that?) but again, we will clean it up and also ensure we are clear on what are truly the deal breakers.

The list of true WANTS and DON’T WANT’s will pretty concise and begin to crystalize.

Then what?

We work at it. We examine it, dissect it and evaluate the realities of it.

One client went silent when she looked at her list after several sessions. She realized many of the values she held so dear simply were not evident where she was at. They used to be there, but over time and so many changes, those values had moved to the background – or at least out of her line of sight.

Her values had changes too. She was fighting for something that wasn’t there and it was now a losing battle.

 It was robbing her of energy, confidence and passion.

So now what?

We talked through what that might mean for her. She had thought this place was her calling. Or at least her career, and at one time it was. But over time… her values and theirs were out of synch. The “easy” option is to pack your bags and leave.

After careful consideration, she determined she did not want to leave. At least not now. She recalibrated on where she was, and this place, at this time was her JOB. Not her lifelong career. Certainly not her calling. She could let go of the pressure she was putting on herself to force that square peg into that round hole. And she could craft a plan and goals that were more in alignment with her JOB. And this job could still be the right fit for her and her life goals at this time.

Ready to get unstuck and move forward toward actually fits? Let's talk.